In the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Stephen Covey talks about two kinds of circles. The first and the larger circle is called the circle of Concern. Which contains all the things you are concerned about. In other words, all the things that take space in your mind. For example, your loved ones, your health, your job, the weather, the economy, etc. Some of these things we can control, in other words, we influence these things. They reside in the smaller circle: the circle of Influence.

One way to determine in which circle to categorize things is to distinguish the “Haves” from the “Bes” Examples of the “Haves” are:

I'll be happy when I have ...
If only I had a more patient partner ...
If I could just have more time to myself ...  

Anytime we think the problem is “out there”, that thought is the problem. If we like to be more proactive and change our current situation, it is best to adjust your language to the “Bes”. These types of words focus on the ways you could be to improve your current situation.

I can be more resourceful. 
I can be more understanding.
I can be dedicated. 

The sentences above require action. Moreover, they won’t let the behavior of someone else dictate the outcome of your mood. If you like to know more about a proactive attitude click here to read that post.

Source: Unsplash, Yiran Ding