The secrets adults failed to tell us

Remember when you were young and you wanted to grow up so badly? To me, having a real job, knowing what to do next, and being responsible for my own family were some things I looked forward to. Now that I’m grown, I sadly came to the conclusion: “Nobody actually knows what they are doing”.


Our life is a big puzzle. Our knowledge and experiences are the puzzle pieces. And we are constantly trying to put the pieces together. But nobody told us that the puzzle pieces can evolve (and change their form). So that we are constantly adjusting and realizing that the only things we know are the things we don’t know. If that makes sense to you. Really what I want to say is: once you think you have figured it out, a new level of adulthood will be unlocked.

This or that

With age and experience, I also came to realize that everything is difficult. Whether you choose a partnership or being alone it will be difficult. Staying in or out of shape will be difficult. It’s not going to get magically easier when you reach a certain level. You have to understand that life is no linear upward line that gets better with age. But there is beauty in learning and unraveling along the way.

Michelle Obama wrote in her first book Becoming:What do you want to be when you grow up? As if growing up is finite. As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.”

Image: Unsplash, by Bianca Ackermann

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Romanticize your life

Picture this: you are sitting on your couch on Sunday, dreading Monday because you dislike your 40 minutes commute to work. Or you dread socializing with people. Now why not change this perspective by romanticizing the part you dread the most in your day?

Not a morning person

I don’t like to wake up early (7.45 am). I would rather sleep in and get well-rested before I start my day. But I also know that I end up regretting this on a workday because half of my day will be gone. So I like to romanticize my morning with my coffee. I have this coffee corner in my kitchen containing my favorite syrups and coffee cups. This way I can switch my mind from waking up early to getting excited about my morning coffee. Now is this super healthy, caffeine first thing in the morning? No, but it gets me out of bed.

Habit stacking

James Clear explains in his book Atomic Habits that a method for creating new habits is habit stacking. You define a current habit and stack this one with the new habit you would like to implement. Want to know more about this? click here Now I would like to add that you can also habit stack something that has to be done with something you like to romanticize. For example, the Japanese have a lifestyle called Ikigai. Ikigai is your reason for waking up in the morning, next to other principles. In the book Ikigai by Héctor García he explains that although breakfast is the most important meal, it should also be an enjoyable experience. Some people who live with Ikigai have a piece of chocolate first thing in the morning. This way they already are excited the night before.

Main character energy

And remember you are the main character of your own life. You are in control and choose your life. The things you have to do during the day are likely not going to change. But the way you react to those things can change. So elevate some moments in your life.

Image: Unsplash, by Nathan Dumlao

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Stop waiting for Summer, Start enjoying now

With summer being around the corner, everybody is preparing for that summer body or even summer vacay. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to wait until summer to enjoy your days. You don’t have to wait for Fridays to celebrate anything. You can enjoy life right now. It doesn’t have to be something big. For me, I like to buy myself a bouquet and place it nicely in my living room. My room lights up immediately and when I wake up in the morning and make my coffee I get to enjoy these beautiful flowers.

Just because

Most of the time we link a celebration to an accomplishment or time of the year. A downside of this can be that you’ve been creating expectations on the days leading up to that celebration. Eventually, you might get disappointed by your own expectations. What if the event is canceled because of the weather or other circumstances? Even though it’s good to celebrate certain milestones and times of the year, I also believe that spontaneous activities have been the most fun in my life.

Here for a good and a long time

Disclaimer: Now I’m not saying that you should spend all your vacation money to enjoy this week. Because those summers and Fridays give us something to look forward to. Just try to also enjoy the regular days with something that is special to you.

Nothing stays the same

You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to enjoy this life. You’ve been given a new day and you don’t know what the future brings. Maybe you won’t like something anymore. Or maybe the one you love won’t be there. So in order to not have any regrets you have to take out the fine china and enjoy the present simply because you can.

Image: Unsplash, by Derick McKinney

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Rule of 3 – Focus on your top priorities

Maybe you have seen the quote: “trying to get 8 hours of sleep, get promoted, stay healthy and fit, work on my social life, and have a side hustle” on social media. It can be difficult to juggle all these priorities. Sometimes it even feels like you’re failing on all these aspects because you’re not giving your attention enough. J.D. Meier wrote in his book “Getting Results the Agile Way” that is better to have a top 3 priorities list every day, every month, every year. It works best for me to start with my top 3 for the year. Only then can I plan my priorities for the month, because they have to resonate with my top 3 of the year.

Not only professional priorities

You may have a list of things that are important to you. Arrange them according to importance. Now this list is not only for your professional goals. It could also be; spending more time with family and friends, exercising more often, or taking time for yourself. When you have numbered the priorities on your list, take the first 3, which are your rule of 3.

Why number 3

Have you ever wondered why for example they use number 3 in journals or planners? For example. 3 things to make today a success, 3 things to be grateful for, or 3 affirmations for today. Well, there is a scientific reason for this. J.D. Meier found that focusing on 3 things makes you cut out the other stuff more easily on the other hand it helps you prioritize better.

Not really about productivity

This rule to me is not really about productivity. In some cases, if you follow this term you are already setting yourself up for failure because you can always be more productive. By focusing on 3 things I can give my mind a little rest. When these 3 things are accomplished, I get a sense of success and then I can move on to new priorities.

Here is a link which explaines J.D. Meier’s Rule of 3 a bit more: click here

Image: Unsplash, by Kelly Sikkema

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It only has to make sense to you

This week’s quote tells us that the only way to be great is to start. But what if your (personal) brand/ product is not fully ready yet? That’s okay because guess what… You can start now and adjust along the way. Many brands do it.


The first obvious thing we see is a brand’s logo. It determines their image and what they show to the world. A lot of companies changed their logos over the years. From a small font or image size to a completely new design. Some of those brands are, KIA, Dunkin’, Instagram, Starbucks, and more. Many brands change their logo to keep up with their consumers. They flip the script and all of a sudden we love the “fresh” new look. And so can you.


Airbnb went even further than changing its logo. Turns out that providing a service where people can rent other people’s homes for business or pleasure was the first step. They recognized that when people stay in a new place, they want to discover it. And what better way to do this than through a local? They saw the demand and value of connecting people in another way. So next to accommodation, they now offer experiences and even online experiences. They saw a need and as a result, they evolved. And so can you.

So can you

And if Airbnb can evolve, so can you. You can rebrand yourself as many times as you like. You can choose any day to change or try different things. Sometimes we care too much about how our personal rebranding will be perceived. “You’ve changed” Isn’t that the point of life? To constantly be a better version of yourself (whatever that means to you)? So start today and if you would like to reinvent yourself in the future, go ahead. Because in the end, it only has to make sense to you.

Image: Unsplash, by Cerquiera

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We work a job we hate, to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like

This quote is from a movie, which I haven’t seen. But I saw this post on Pinterest and I felt attacked. Whenever, I accomplished something big and I felt like, I should buy this or that to celebrate or for gratification. But if I stopped and took a second I would’ve realized that the accomplishment is a celebration already.


What happens is, we get stuck in this ratrace. Our life is already planned out; high school, college, a good job, uni, marrying your high school sweetheart, a great career, buying a house, a car, sweet kids, a summer house, and so on and so forth. This is the “right path” to take. It will lead to success and happiness. A construct designed by society to keep the money rolling and keep us busy. We actually forget to contemplate if we actually want those things. And even if we want those things, when are we satisfied?

Keeping up with the Joneses

This term comes from English-speaking countries and refers to keeping up with your neighbor’s social economic status. Today we could replace this term with, Keeping up with the Kardashians (or any other reality series) or keeping up with big names on Instagram. It’s a cliche but the content in series and on social media is only one part of someone’s story. Nobody has it all, so it will give us peace of mind to stop to match that level of so-called perfection.

Sacrificing what you need

What’s even more concerning is that we sacrifice something we really need for something that we don’t even want. For example, we sacrifice our time with our family or time dedicated to exercise for more work to hopefully get that promotion. We sacrifice an hour’s worth of massage to binge-watch a series. Now again I’m not encouraging anyone to stop doing or wanting something. I’m just asking to consider if it’s really what you want and need.

Image: Unsplash, by Mckenna Phillips

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3 ways to see clearly

If you are a member of this community then you know this week is about seeing the steps ahead of you. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to look at all the steps and future setbacks that might be ahead. Good news, those moments haven’t even occurred yet. Instead, just focus on the step that’s right in front of you. Focus on what you can see and move from there. Here are 3 easy ways to help you better focus on the here and now.

Be present

In order to think clearly, you have to be present. Being present means (to me): being fully in the moment without thinking about what you’re having for dinner or regretting the outfit you chose. The key way I like to become more present is by guided meditation. You just sit on a chair or on the floor, let a voice guide you through your thoughts, and give you exercises focused on breath work. The purpose of meditation is not to stop thinking but rather to label your thoughts and come back to them when and if necessary. My current app for guided meditation is Headspace.

Take a walk

Throughout the week you drive/ cycle/ commute from A to B. It is hard to experience new things. On weekends I like to take a walk without a destination. Either in the city or in nature.

  • City
    Pros: you get to order coffee from your local barista and walk around, take random streets, and be a tourist in your own city.
    Cons: when it gets busy on the streets your mind gets cluttered.
  • Nature
    Pros: you really get to experience fresh air and peace & quiet.
    Cons: depending on where you live, being in nature might be far away.

My favorite spot is close to the sea because you can hear the waves and clear your mind.

Word vomit

Sometimes you are stuck on something and you just have to vent about it. Either to a friend or on paper. This is beneficial because you get all the words out and you might discover that it wasn’t that deep. You might feel better and be able to let the thoughts go. What I love about writing it down is that you can see all the clutter and focus on the things that really matter. Also, you get to read it later and see how much you have grown since then.

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Being Productive Tomorrow But Already Setting Yourself Up to Fail

All pumped up

So yesterday I scheduled a workout for this morning 8 am. I was all hyped up, ready to go to sleep early and start my day RIGHT. You can already guess that by 9 am I was still in my bed … Problem was that I had this image of myself: work out at 8 am, be dressed by 10 am, and have an amazing and productive day. This all seems very nice but actually executing it is a whole different ball game. Especially when you’re not a morning person.

Becoming that person

Nowadays you see all these videos of; becoming THAT girl or my everyday 5 am routine. It all looks great and productive. In my head, I go like; I want to be as productive as them. And even though I think it’s good to have a reason to get out of bed. I also think we should be realistic. If you’re not a morning person, chances are that 7 times out of 10 you won’t make that class. Why do I even want to plan my day like those people I’ve never even met? Do I want to work out or keep up with the Joneses?

What do you want

For me, it is important to ask myself why I want what I want. Is it because it looks productive? Or do I want it because I can show off? The real reason should be that I want to take care of my body. But if that is my incentive it doesn’t matter what time I work out.

Wake up

This week’s quote is: All I want is what I can see, and what I can see is in front of me. When I schedule something The evening before, I won’t be able to see what’s in front of me (Can I sleep through the night? Do I have a bad mood when I wake up?). That’s why I try to plan easy things on the day itself. But never give up. If you really want to exercise that day, you have to try again and again. So that’s what I did and ironically at 8 pm, I went to another workout. The end result is the same, it just matters how you look at it.

Image: Unsplash, by Logan Weaver

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Feel all the feels, do it anyways

All the feels

Let’s start with, what do I mean by all the feels? All the emotions? Sometimes you get to a point where you dream about something but the execution is draining. Even though you would love to eventually have it (whatever your goal is). The process is making you nervous, scared, and tired. It can even be uninspiring at times.

But guess what… it doesn’t matter. You HAVE to keep up with your daily habits in order to get results and eventually reach that goal.


Not only do you have to do it anyways to get the results but it is also crucial for your well-being. I find that if I stick to a daily habit that I know is going to give me long-term results, I will feel better because I discipline myself. Moreover, I can anticipate that on the days when I don’t feel good, I can still push myself to get things done.

Easier said than done

You might think by now… well it is easier said than done. And you’re 100% right, it’s not easy to just do it anyway. How to do it anyway?

  • Arrange non-negotiables with yourself (ask someone that can hold you accountable)
  • Talk to someone about it. Some emotions are increasing when you keep them in your head.
  • Ask advice from someone that has experience with your situation

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The best planner of 2023

A few years ago I used to say that I keep a planner on my phone. But in reality, I did not and forgot about most of my appointments. Now I have found the perfect planner for me which is the My Journal from A-journal.

Planner and journal in one

So let me explain how it works … The planner has an overview of the month which contains planning: activities to do, relaxing, grateful for, goals, and to pay and receive. So you plan your month ahead with not only the basics but also the fun and memorable things. Then you have an overview of the week where you can write your appointments down and add your priorities. They even added a notes section on the weekly pages.

Check off the boxes

When you have filled in the month’s planner you start to work tirelessly during the month. At the end of the month, you look back and you can check off the things you have completed/accomplished. How great is that!

And the list goes on and on

And now my favorite part. The lists in the back of financial goals, adventures, health, meals, music, and books. This way I will have a diary of the year. In a couple of years, I can look back to see which song was my favorite and which cities I visited this year. In a way the planner does the name justice because you get to keep a journal of your year without actually writing in a daily journal.

Good to know

The planner also has an envelope at the back for business cards or other small papers you need to store.

Image: Unsplash, by Benham Norouzi

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